Bandwidth and OKC are like three sisters with one eye.

Four hundred thousand people all share the same 20mbs, 512k at a time. Netflix in OKC is calling a company, telling them what you want to watch and when, then a midget delivers the movie from Redbox.

Yesterday I was hungry, so I CALLED pizza hut for a carry out. How fucking 90′s is that? Yet I had to do it to save some bandwidth. Wish my neighbors thought the sameway. OKC has made me think about bandwidth the way hippies obsess over energy.

Yesterday I was talking with a guy here about an article I read about NASA’s twin moon probes (juno). I ran back to my room and printed off the article so thay I could recycle the bandwidth.

A NASA funded research program recently discovered a form of life in Mono Lake that reproduces using arsenic. Over the past several years I have become a fan of replacing NASA’s rather pathetic investment in low-orbit and earth-based research in favor of more efficient civilian programs funded by investors. With this in mind I decided to find a new form of life through my own personal investment.

Earlier this week I wrote a prospectus detailing a plan and the funds necessary to discover sober life in a bowling alley. After receiving approval and funding for this program, I established a field research station at the bowling alley across the street from my place of residence. After countless hours of observation and painstakingly detailed notes, I can proudly that I have indeed discovered sober life within the confines of a bowling alley. I found one Mrs. Skyler Tiften. Though from my observations, Mrs. Tiften appeared sober, it was necessary to research the subject in more scrutiny. I approached the subject and Mrs. Tiften admitted to being a rather prominent member of the local Methamphetamine collectors society and was looking for resources to expand both her collection and consumption. She expressed the desire to allow fifteen minutes of even closer inspection within the confines of the bowling alley’s restroom in exchange for some of the funds necessary to further her collection and consumption. I began to furiously scribble notes covering the events of the interaction up to the present. When I had completed this process, I noticed that Mrs. Tiften had previously disengaged from my presence and was currently departing in the passenger seat of a blue and primer-gray F-Body Camaro IROC-Z.

So, it is possible to find sober life a a bowling alley, even if that sober life is there to not.

There is more to priming than simply applying a level of stuff for pigment to attach to. Many guides place the major choice on whether to use black or white spray primer and lay the basis on that decision on whether the end result will be a light or a dark model. This is basically crap with a little bit of truth to it. If most of the model will be drybrushed and the under coat of primer will be seen and used as shadow, then a choice of black primer does directly influence the final appearance of the model. Yet, with even the most basic of paint jobs, the model will be entirely base coated with other pigments and there will be very little translucency through the layers above the coat of primer (more about translucency can be found in thee section on washing).

The main factors in choosing a type of primer are durability and absorbency. Brushable primers tend to be more durable than spray primers and have far fewer reactions to environmental concerns than sprays. The one major exception to the durability of brushable primer over that of spray is the use of black spray primer on plastic. Black primer contains an additive that causes it to bond to plastic. Plastic models primed with black primer will be very hard strip later. If striping a model of it’s paint is of concern, do not use black primer on plastic. If an incredibly durable coat of primer is most important (this, of course, would make the layers of pigment on top of the primer considerably more durable) then go with black primer on plastic. Painting on brushable primers does take far longer than spraying models, but it is possible to get consistent results without factoring in environmental concerns.

Spray primers react poorly to environmental humidity. Spray primers in the presence of humidity set up their structure unevenly. This can cause a slightly rough texture on the model or even make the final produce fuzzy. Wind can also cause this effect by partially setting the primmer before it hits the model, the result is a kind of dusty-fuzzy model whose primer coat is a mix of primer that dried before it hit the model mixed in with primer that was wet when it hit the model. It is also fairly easy to over-spray a model. Putting too much primer on a model can result in a significant loss of detail and is most often the result of poor application or interference from the wind.

Of the three major kinds of primers (black, white and gray) there is more difference than just pigment. The basis of the two different primers come form their original design. Originally, black primer was for use on plastic and white on metal. There are chemical difference, not just pigment and the pigment difference was originally to signify the primer’s usage. Black primer bonds better to plastic and was specifically designed to be a binding-primer. Since the primer is itself a polymer, it bonds well to itself and is the better choice for models with a very flat microscopic surface and plastic (which it readily bonds with). White primer produces a larger structure and bonds better to surfaces that are slightly irregular. Most metal models have surfaces that are microscopically rougher than plastic, but it really depends on the metal used to make the model, how and with what the model’s mold was made from, and even the different processes that different spin-molds use. In general, white works better on metals than black because if was originally designed to be a filling-primer for rougher surfaces. White primer is also far more susceptible to interference from humidity than black primer. Grey primer is a mix of the two and can offer some advantages in versatility.

Another area of difference in primer selection is absorbency. Because black primer is a binding-primer and white is a filler-primer, the two can have different levels of absorbency. Applied in a low-moisture environment, these differences are minute, but as the humidity is increased, so is the difference in absorbency. Because it is rather difficult to control the exact amount of humidity in which the primer is applied, using this as a reason for selecting between the two is quite strained and with modern washed is almost a moot point, but is is still a factor that can be exploited. The actual ratios of humidity to primer-absorption is well beyond the scope of this article, and would require a great deal of experimentation.

The main limitations of aerosol-based spray primers can be overcome through control of the environment in which the primer is applied and using the proper techniques to achieve good coverage and still avoid too much buildup and using layers to achieve durability. To get good coverage, preserve a model’s details, and obtain a durable coat, one needs to shoot the model from different angles and use multiple layers. One technique to achieve this is to put the models on a flat surface standing up on the base, spray a light coat, turn the flat surface forty-five degrees, spray another light coat, then repeat until the circle is complete. Let the models dry, put them on their back and do this again. Let them dry, then repeat the process with the models on their front. This will give the models several layers for durability, and with the numerous coats from different angles, give good coverage without excess buildup. Any spots missed can be quickly covered with brushable primer. A similar effect can be achieved by using poster-putty to stick the models to the flat surface so that they do not fall off. With the models stuck to the surface, the surface can be tilted to achieve the same effect of rotating the models on the surface. The putty can be reused multiple times and never again will a model suffer falling damage before it has even seen the paint table. An even better method would be to place the model in an empty paint-pot or similarly shaped object and spray them individually.

The best way to solve the environmental issue is to spray the models in a controlled environment, aka inside. To do this and still avoid the sticky question of cancer, it is necessary to use a paint-booth. The best answer for a paint-booth is to convert an entire room using industrial grade equipment. The better answer for a hobbygame nerd who would rather spend the money on models is to make a paint-booth for less than a hundred dollars. First, an outlet to the outside is needed. The best solution for this issue is to use a dryer vent, next is a window, followed by cutting a hole in the wall. Each possible solution depends on the nature of residential ownership and the ability to readily access gray-tape. Get a large moving box and assemble it. Cut off the top and one side. Cut a hole in the back that will fit an air-filter. Tape the air-filter into place (or find something that will allow an air-filter to slide in and out for easy replacement and tape that in place. Put a cheap box-fan on the back so that it blows away from the box, and tape the ever-loving-hell out of that so that the sides are sealed and it will only draw air through the filter. Next, use more tape to attach a trash bag to the fan’s other side and use more tape to connect the other end of the bag to a dryer tube. Run the tube outside through one of the above mentioned methods. Boom, paint-booth!

Just before the iPad launched earlier this year, many “analysts” cried that the iPad would kill the Kindle. A new study has “analysts” once again crying that the iPad is killing the Kindle.

First off, calling the iPad an E-reader is idiotic at best. E-ink mimics a real book in just about every way, except resolution (150 vs. 300+). An iPad’s LCD display mimics a book as much as netbooks or TVs do. Should a book be read or watched?

Many believe that the iPad is naturally superior because it is more versatile, being able to watch movies, browse the interweb, check email, play Angry Birds, and it is more expensive, so it has to be better. Most of these people jerk off to famous hot chicks rather than the comely chick who frequents the laundry-mat down the street who is just attractive enough to fuel two or three years worth of masturbatory fantasies, but far too hot to actually approach, engage in conversation, respond to an invitation to a roll in the sack, and leave utterly disappointed. so, how the fuck would these pieces of shit know anything about technology. If one needs a device to actually read (and I mean read books and shit) the kindle is far superior to the iPad. If a user needs to check his fantasy football league, so that he may reassert his heterosexuality to a group of men who also wish to assert their heterosexuality while talking about watching other sweaty men run, grab, and roll over each other like greco-roman foreplay, the the iPad might be for you. The kindle is for people who read books. Not people who read magazines, newspapers, or the little announcements given out at all of the funerals for the many friends who died from AIDS. If you don’t read books, then you will never understand how a Kindle could be a superior e-Reader. You will also spend your life living in ignorance and never really able to understand things such as how a bill becomes a law.

Yes, an iPad has color, can do motion, and has a touch screen, “features that the Kindle does not have.” Apparently children need color, presentations are useful only if they are in color, it is backlit, and books should have animations as well. The kindle does have a web-browser and a connection to Al Gore’s World Wide Web via Wifi or free 3G goodness. It is far less functional than a browser on the average computer and the iPad. The Kindle can play audio books and MP3s, but it is easier to select a song on an eight-track than on the Kindle’s MP3 player. What about the features a Kindle has that an iPad doesn’t? Need help with this? First, text looks better on a kindle because it is E-ink. Vector images designed to be printed in black and white look fucking awesome. Books, strangely enough, lack a touch screen, so of course a device designed to mimic a book would lack a touch screen. The kindle is not back lit, but it is, again, mimicking a fucking book, which traditionally are quite lacking in back-lightening as well. Free 3G is kinda cool. A two to four week batter life is slightly better than an eight hour battery life.

Speaking of battery life, here is a hippy fact. Within one year of ownership, the Kindle will pay for its manufacture in energy costs verses consuming the same amount of content on traditional printed material. Since the iPad consumes about seventy times the amount of power to read the same content as a Kindle, it will never be a green alternative to the Kindle, much less traditional print material. If you use an iPad as an e-Reader over the Kindle, you are shitting on the environment. If you shit on the environment, you hate trees. If you hate trees, then you hate puppies. Buy a Kindle or you killed a dog.

The iPad is much larger than the standard Kindle (though it is smaller than the DX, but the Dx poans). For some users, the convenience of keeping the Kindle in a purse or bag and having it readily available, makes the Kindle infinitely useful. (Note, some users carry purses or bags large enough to fit several iPads, but they have giners, so, how would this not be a game killer for others?) In the realm of portability, the newer Android devices and the iPhone would make for much better Kindle killers than the larger iPad ever would.

As for this new study, ChangeWave did a study between Kindle and iPad owners over the past several months. The first part discusses how Amazon’s Kindle is loosing market share to Apple’s iPad. According to these numbers, the Kindle is falling way behind, despite the record sales of the new Kindle 2 in the past several months. How can this happen? The answer is somewhat easy, all Kindles are e-Readers, but not all iPads are e-Readers. If the number of sales of kindles is compared to all of the sales of iPads, and the iPad sells far greater numbers due to its attraction to the cock-hungry, then it will appear that the iPad is gaining market share. It would be better to compare the number of hours spent reading on each device or even better to compare the number of books consumed on each device than comparing apples to oranges. The second part compares the satisfaction users had with their purchases. I believe that the discrepancy in the numbers can be reflected by the number of individuals who bought a Kindle because they thought that the mere purchase of the device would either make them smarter or make them look smarter. the rest of it rattles on about expected holiday sales.

Basically, the Kindle is for two types of people, those intelligent enough to be interested in learning and want a way to remove books from the living quarters and have ready access to the majority of a personal library and for women who read crappy, cotton-candy for the mind Romance novels. The iPad is also for two types of people, those who want a portable computing device featuring a display with rather dated technology (the LCD is nearing the end of its life-cycle while Eink is in its infancy, but for a display that combines most of the best qualities of both, except for the tremendous energy savings that Eink provides, just look at Apple’s new iPhone 4) and the latent-homosexuals who wish nothing more than to be accepted by other hetero-posing breeders.

A word on the new Nook Color and other possible competition with Amazon. With access to root (sudo), the new Nook Color might make for a nifty little tablet device. However, buying a Nook Color as an e-Reader over any device with Eink is like gut-fucking, when you’re done with the transaction you just feel empty inside and no matter how hot going to town inside of a slowly dieing piece of fuck meat might be, plowing into giner is better and tighter.

Amazon’s real competition will come from Google’s announcement of Google Editions. I have recently fallen in love with Google. From the cloud computing of Google Docs to the awesomeness that is the Android OS, Google has begun to make me feel about computing the way Apple has told me to feel for the last twenty years. When a purpose-built device with Eink appears, amazon will be doomed.

For far too long NeoKaw has languashed in silence. I’ve decided to abandon the previous format for several reasons. Keeping up with all of the miniatures news was far too time consuming. Creating content about painting and assembly was worthless because you fuckers won’t research. For fuck’s sake, the other day I saw a re-re blowing on superglue to make it dry faster. I am also the proud owner of a new EVO, so I can add a rant when it comes to me rather than waiting ’till I get near a computer. Along the same lines, I wrote a simple little interface for WordPress, so now I can also write updates from my Kindle. Finaly, I found the scrap of paper that has the God-for-damned password for this blog.

For all of the readers who have been clamouring for the blog’s return, you can both rest assured, I’m back, bitches, even if it is sans spell-checker

Because it does good work…

I managed to get a really high rez satellite picture of a portion of Haiti from a DOD buddy of mine.

The world is full of fucking morons who don’t realize that they are lazy and worthless. I’m not referring to fags, liberals, Republicans, hippies, or the Irish. The most worthless creatures that lurks the bright places of the interweb are the sacks of shit who don’t realize that the interweb is a research tool. They see the internet as a means of communication and communication.

The internet serves three major functions; research, communication, and as a means of software delivery. The worthless fucks I speak of understand the software delivery, embrace the communication aspect, but fail to realize the vast cultural importance of the internet’s vast repository of information. Because a vast portion of human knowledge is now readily available to anyone who knows how to use the tools, human interaction changes.

It does not matter what you know, but how quickly you can find information. Concepts still remain vital, but pure information is present in the interweb. For example, knowing what type of interface can be created using .Net framework is more important than actually knowing how to do it. Figuring out how to do it can be easily found on the interweb, but know what to do with it requires constructing an conclusion from grounded concepts.

Nor is it really ever necessary to ask a question. For much of humanity’s history asking easy questions has been a form of social interaction. “How’s the weather down there?” This type of information can now be easily researched and obtained. Almost all questions can be readily answered. “What’s blending? How do I base this fig to look like a jungle? How do I do X in Excel? How do I get to your store? How do I get to the museum?” All these questions are now rendered to social as it takes more time and is far less reliable to ask this socially that a simple trip to your friendly neighborhood Google.

Below is a transcript form several communications between an individual selling crap on eBay and a fucktard who has as yet to embrace the enlightenment of the interweb.

From: oldman40k
To: lord_fool
Subject: You’ve received a question about your eBay item, STARSHIP TROOPERS Cap Troopers Sprues Sealed in Plastic
Dear lord_fool,
How tall are they. Close to Warhammer 40k Space Marines can you take a picture out of plastic
- oldman40k

Dear lord_fool,
I asked once never got an answer. How tall are the figures? warhammer 40k size? — 1/35 size? — 1/72 size? — 1/600 size?
oldman40k

Dear oldman40k,
A simple search on Google will answer that question.
- lord_fool

Dear lord_fool,
You can’t just answer it? For a seller with a 46 rating I would think you might just try a little coustomer service. THANKS A LOT Realy looking forward to buying something from you.
- oldman40k

Do you see what really transpired in this conversation? Oldman40k said, “I am a fucking noob and I am far too retarded to find information on the interweb. I would like to take your time so that you can provide me the information that I require despite the fact that the very creation of this email took longer than a simple search on the interweb would have required.”

Lord_fool, despite his lack of Asian ancestry, did a very Japanese thing and ignore the fuck-tard so that he would not be shamed by his inability to conduct the simplest of researches.

Oldman40k, however, is persistent in his stupidity and demanded an answer by saying, “I am in need of help for I am far too incompetent to use Google, Yahoo!, or Bing. Please, tell me how to embrace the cultural implications of the information age.”

Lord_fool tried to help this individual by politely suggesting a tool he might use to answer this question and any other question he might have in the future. Lord_fool believes, like all who have embraced the cultural importance of the information age, you teach a man how to fish and he won’t go hungry.

Oldman40k once again proudly proclaimed that he is more trouble than he is worth and still can’t figure out how to use the interweb. Has Oldman40Kk researched he would have discovered not only the answer to his query, but a host of other information which might have allowed him to branch out of his 40K shell. He might have realized that his original question was worthless. He wanted to know how tall the Starship Trooper Cap Trooper miniatures are compared to 40K miniatures. Lord_fool could have measured a Cap Trooper and a Space Marine and gave Oldman40k an answer or he could have compared a Cap Trooper to an Imperial Guardsman miniature.

Ultimately, however, all the comparisons would have been moot, because the two games use different scales even if the miniatures are the same height. 40K has miniatures that are about an inch from foot to eye, but the miniatures are sculpted in a heroic scale. The hands and eyes are far larger than on a proportional human. Starship Troopers Cap Troopers are about an inch from foot to eye, but they are realistically sculpted, so the head and hands are in proportion to a normal human. Essentially, they are the same height, but won’t mix together. Had Oldman40k researched a little, he would have discovered this and could have asked a more pertinent question.

The world has fundamentally changed because of the cultural revolution. It’s not just the ability to communicate instantly around the world or statically through blogs, forums, and personal pages. It is the information age and it means just that.

Embrace the change and do some fucking research!

I am a big fan of nostalgic sentiment. For a mall lone gone, the game stores of my youth, good Star Trek movies, and even a home town that wasn’t choked with fucking Mexicans and white trash. However, not every piece of fag-related bullshit will make me or anyone who remembers the worthless sow, Megan Mullally, long for the late nineties. Who the fuck is this add targeting? I won’t even ask the important, but awkward, question, “where does all of that fag-butter come from anyway?”

It certainly isn’t targeting older women. I showed that video to my mother and she not only decided to stop consuming I can’t Believe it’s not Butter, but went out, got a stick of butter, and a syringe and is now freebasing butter.

I showed it to one of my friends, who says that he is not gay, but once asked people to guess his favorite musical. While he watched it he sat silently absorbing the gay waves. After the video ended, he stood up and calmly said, “it all makes so much sense now.” Since viewing the video he’s became an Episcopalian, got married to a wonderful women named Greg, and has adopted a child, thus giving his parents the little Asian grandbaby they always wanted so that they could celebrate birthdays in a more African manor while their child teaches the Asian grandbaby how to read/write/speak Asian and masturbates to Al Gore pictures while watching reruns of Will and Grace.

It has to be that a democrat in the Whitehouse sparks something in the gays. Carter brought Three’s Company. Clinton brought all of the gay-fag shit in the nineties. Now this fucking video! It the country keeps going like this, in three years we are going to be Spain-gay.

I know most of you think that we can be saved from the fagdom by geeks. Well guess what, you dumb fuckers, the trappings of geekdom have gone well over the edge of the fag-cliff and are plummeting down to land on the blood-encrusted sodimic stalagtites of gaydom. (For those of you who don’t know, this location is really a coffee shop just outside of San Francisco)

On a final note, I have received several polite emails which mention that this site might have a slight leaning on a particular view against homosexuals. While this stance is far from the original intention of the site, originally this site was designed to degrade Native Americans, but then that was voted ineffective because American Indian can read.

One of the great things about competition in a capitalist economy is advancement. Someone develops and produces a product, shortly there after someone else creates a slightly better version. This goes on and on until we end up with movies directed by Michael Bay. In an example of this, Barnes & Noble released the Nook today. Everybody who preordered the new Nook eReader emailed me today and they both have mixed feelings about the Nook.

B&N played it smart by aiming for the same hetro audiences that plunk  down cash to see a Michael Bay movie by making the Nook more badass, social, and compatible. They drastically cranked up the “eBook badass dial” to eleven. The Nook has a secondary screen that allows users to scroll through book covers ala iTunes. Sure, the Kindle has a keyboard, but that is only for people who like functionality. As everyone knows, the target audience for badass things like Michael Bay movies reads voraciously, so B&N will make a killing.

The Nook has taken new steps twaords making the eReader experience more social. Those with kindles know that reading in public leads to spending almost as much time talking about the Kindle as reading it. Amazon just doesn’t do brick and mortar, but since the money is in the content, basing a store on selling the Kindle hardware and limited accessories is about as smart as putting a battery-draining LCD on an eReader so that users can squint and barely distinguish titles with similar covers. The Nook, however, has a book sharing feature that lets users loan out books to others. This feature is not only cool, but rather necessary. Because the initial launch of the Nook has a rather long load time for books, this gives users the ability to discuss which books another might wish to borrow.

Quite unlike the Kindle, the Nook supports the more common eBook formats, such as ePub, in exchange for the proprietary formats than Amazon’s Kindle forces users to adapt to, such as TXT.

One area that Amazon has decided is a priority to gain an edge in the competition is full support for the seeing impaired. No longer will the blind be forced to wander through the Kindle’s muted interface. In the not too distant future (looks like summer), the Kindle with receive an option to navigate through its menus audibly. Jumping on this bandwagon of making products accessible to the visually impaired are Ford and Colt Firearms. Looks like next rear will be great year to read at home, away from streets, and blind people driving cars.

As reported by the BBC, CNN, MSNBC, and every other big news organizations, each with budgets and resources greater than the sum total of all bloggers, bloggers announced today that Google posted a street view of Pompeii.

For those of who are unfamiliar with Pompeii, it was a Roman town where wealthy Romans went to eat, drink, and get sucked off but anything with a mouth.  Sort of like San Francisco, but without book stores. The city was buried in hot ash and froze many of the residents in mid 69.

While there are no easily found statistics on the project or a convenient list of contributors, NeoKaw has discovered that the bulk of the project was completed by Pepper Tucker, a San Francisco native who was taking a break from his  tour of raves and discos in Rome. How did NeoKaw discover this? It was rather simple; we first looked at Google Maps and discovered the route covered by the Street View. With that information, we knew that the photographer was from San Francisco and had heard just enough about Pompeii that there could be some hot guys there. After that we opened up a phone book from San Francisco and picked a name at random.