So, you are a company that makes miniatures? You think you have found some moderate success? Well, guess the fuck what, you’re going out of business and your kids are going to starve.

I just saw the miniatures available from Smart Max. These are the most fucking amazing miniatures that I have ever seen. Those ranges are fucking ape nuts. It’s like this: imagine that the Perry twins had a night of drinking and the both of them passed out in an alley behind a bar in London. Then, Tim Burton stumbles along, sees the passed out twins, and rapes the ever-loving shit out of them. Nine months later the individuals responsible for Smart Max’s miniatures would be born.

I mean
Shit
Fuck
Damn

In other news, now this is a great reason to pick up a spin-caster.

So, which is more important, the word or the medium? I believe that the content trumps the content’s media of delivery. There are those who rationally and passionately argue the other way and they are, for the most part, fags.

One look at Alan Kaufman’s The Electronic Book Burning pisses me off. Fags like this are more in love with the fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate culture. First, anyone who wants to rant about the demise of the fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate culture and wants his argument to be taken as a serious, intellectual, hetro, and broad criticism of the eBook, should not write about the demise of book stores in San Francisco. Second, remember to close the fucking center tag so that you’re shit doesn’t have two paragraphs of left-aligned text followed by the rest of the page centered. Third, the horizontal bars that simulate a growing fire are awesome, keep that. Fourth, go fuck yourself.

The eBooks are not about a single entity (Google) controlling electronic content. The new media is not a cultural change. For fuck’s sake, how many people bitched about the demise of the community and university library when the sum total of all human knowledge became available to every household able to afford the baud? The world will become free of its paper anchor. Anyone will be able to publish anything from anywhere. The value of authorship is in the creation of the content, not the media the content is delivered.

For the love of god, these book-loving Neanderthals cry about the loss of a book’s tactile sense, the smell of old paper, and the taste of some dude’s dick they met at fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate club meeting. The way these pieces of shit cry about longing for the smell of a worn book reminds me of a Japanese pervert who buys used panties from  a vending machine so that he can get an erection while watching two cosplay ducks dry-hump in a park surrounded by people throwing pickle-chips.

Did we cry when we lost the warm smile of the milkman in favor of purchasing milk from a market? Who bitched when modern refrigeration became installed in American households and we lost the companionship of the iceman? What about the automation that did away with the friendly Ma Bell operator? What about the smell and feel of a horse lost to the adoption of the automobile? How about the nostalgia felt for stone in the age of iron? How about the loss of the scroll? Who the fuck doesn’t miss the days when college students hauled around a semester’s worth of baked clay tablets prominently featuring all to the wedges necessary to facilitate each course’s required consumption of knowledge?

In short, fuck off.

In order for newspapers such as The New York Times to become profitable again, they need to crank the badass up to eleven.

To make a successful form of entertainment today all one has to do is take an IP that is twenty to twenty-five years old and crank the badass up to eleven. I don’t know if this is because for the past decade ninety-nine percent of everyone under the age of thirty is a brain-dead fuck-tard who is enamored with shiny things or an incredibly gay entertainment industry overcompensation in it’s attempt to appeal to the hetro consumers. Here are some examples:

Transformers: The new transformers are just like the original IP, but with the badass cranked up to eleven (if not pushing hard on twelve).

Battlestar Galatica: Like the original, but with the whiny turned up to ten and the badass cranked up to eleven.

G.I. Joe: Like the original, but badass at eleven.

Terminator Salvation: Like The Terminator, but with the badass cranked wayyyyyyy up to eleven. This movie is probably the best example of the badass at eleven theory. In the original The Terminator, humanity in the future were reduced to living in holes and scraping by to fight back against Skynet. They were resistance fighters similar to the Wolverines in Red Dawn. I’m not sure if both of hese movies were an attempt for the generation in the eighties to identify with the VC a generation earlier and side with the winners, but it was a fairly common theme in the eighties. Yet, this was not badass enough for the modern generation. Now the resistance fighters have Iroquois, Warthogs, and Blackhawks. They are wayyyy more badass.

V: Like the original, but more whinny and badass. This series should be as popular as Battlestar Galatica.

The list goes on and on, though there are some exceptions. Fame was faggy in the eighties and is faggy now. However, other media should take advantage of the badass at eleven or they will rot and die. If The New York Times wants’ to survive it should pick up Michael Bay as an editor.